I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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