Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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