I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.