last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.