we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
this will be a night to untag.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox