my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
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I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
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I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?