well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
