I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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