Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
