Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
