You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
