I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize