At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize