Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
