I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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