i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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