I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize