is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize