Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
