u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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