I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
