If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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