Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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