I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize