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Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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