we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I have aggressive nipples.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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