It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
