ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize