You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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