i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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