My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
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Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
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Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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