where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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