do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize