omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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