Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
