You really coming over, don't trick.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
