That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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