He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
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He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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