Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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