You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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