I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
