I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
