I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
