Where is the hickey?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
