Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
