did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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