I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
