I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
