This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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