dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize