apparently the secret to your success is patron
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
