no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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