your room smells of hookers.
And success
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
