allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
