So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
