Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
