Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
