im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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