I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
