My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
