But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
