i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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