I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
