cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
