In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
